Guess who’s back? Back again. Shay Shay’s back! Tell a friend!

• Okay, maybe it’s my TV (but it’s not, my TV is love) or maybe it’s Pop TV but my god, Kurt Angle’s head and face look purple. Is he breathing? Stop counting ref, see if he’s breathing. Great match with Roode and Angle but I can’t stop looking at how purple Angle looks. I really am concern. Can he survive one more match?

• Rockstar Spud in all black is a much better look than paintball game victim. YES! YES! YES! – Reby brought Baby Hardy. Fantastic. Now show me Tyrus holding that baby because he went from a dancing dinosaur, to an enforcer, to a babysitter…and that’s just the best.

• James Storm looks like he’s going to cry already and he hasn’t started talking yet. Why did Storm call him Amigo? That felt so fake, so forced. I…I don’t like this. Stop it. We know Kurt chugs more than just milk, why are we playing pretend? Wolves vs Beer Money? I can get behind it.

• Really? Reby comes out dressed as a pack of Fruit Stripe gum and she can’t even have the courtesy to bring our Baby Hardy so we can watch Tyrus holding him? Ugh. This is already a fail. Matt Hardy has money? Why does his suit look too big for him? Why does his voice sound like he’s always got a cold?

Quick: Everyone caption this picture!

• EC3! Yes. If he’s the cancer of TNA then I think we all have cancer figured out wrong. He’s helping, not hurting this company.

• Jimmy Havoc is what teenage me dreamed about. He’s perfect for 14 year old Shay and now she’s going to take over this portion. Oh my god, Jimmy is awesome. He’s so cute and he has an accent and I feel like he would understand me. I wish he loved me and not Rosemary. Why do I always lose guys like him to girls like her? I can be a crazy, gothic, demon…clown? I don’t know what she is but I can be it. Oh no, Havoc was just murdered on barbwire. Really fun match between Abyss and Jimmy but a little more tamed than I expected.  That seems to be a running theme with TNA lately. Oh well, adult ShaLinda can come back now.

• Geez, get your priorities straight 14 year old me.  Anyway, Gail Kim’s promo means nothing to me. If you’re looking to become famous, why go to TNA? That’s the last place to go. Gail’s being irrational! Why would Maria risk her health in Lethal Lockdown just because she asked her too? Does Gail think she owns the women in the locker room? God, Maria please stop yelling. Did you learn that from Charlotte?  The point of a microphone is so you don’t have to yell. You know what though? Maria is so good on the mic now. Where did this come from? And while we’re complimenting, Jade you look amazing with that championship, Why aren’t you already champion? Fix this now, please and thank you.

• Pretty damn good match between Bennett and Galloway. I figured this would be our match of the night. This could have been on PPV. Maria is doing such a good job of looking surprised…all the time. At everything. Seriously thought Bennett was going for the Rainmaker in this match. I had Charles Cress on speed dial, ready to snatch what’s left of Mike’s hair. Good win for Bennett.

• Grado! Be still my beating heart. My favorite Irish man! Please come back tomorrow and tell us how you got screwed!

• Kurt Angle vs Lashley in Angle’s last match? Still intrigued. I want Purple Man and Wayne Brady Jr. to have a hell of a match and go all in. I want Kurt to leave everything in the ring if this is truly his last match.

• Matt and Tyrus jump EC3. Okay, so EC3 had to be expecting this? I mean, it’s Wrestling 101. Oh my god! How smart is it to lock them in a truck? How hilarious would it be if someone actually got in the truck and drove off because they didn’t know it was a part of a wrestling show? This unsanctioned fight between Spud and EC3 is so damn fun but I feel like by having EC3 get his revenge this early is a little weak.  Also, why do wrestlers do the spit gurgling thing now? It’s so gross. New wrestling pet peeve. Right up there with drinking things from fans!

That’s it! Good night folks. See ya next week!