By: Charles Cress
Forgive that pun. Puns are the lowest form of communication.
Last night’s Fastlane pay-per-view (Network-per-view, whatever) was way better than it had any right to be. In fact, almost every match was better than it had any right to be. As a whole, Fastlane was greater than the sum of its parts.
- The women, in particular, got a bright shining light on them with TWO (gasp!) matches to themselves. The first (both chronologically for the Divas AND the event opener) was pretty well done. I think as the longer tenured WWE women get more interaction with the Del Ray and otherwise indie trained women, we’ll start to see a lot more mesh. And I think that was on display here. Naomi continues her streak of wrestler with the most potential (and streak now seemingly five years running). I’m not sure if/when she’ll ever put it all together, but it’s unquestionable that she’s the most athletic woman to ever enter a WWE ring. She can go to fast and be a little sloppy, but when it’s good – it’s great. (Also, can we mention Naomi’s outfit here? It was A-MA-A-ZING) Tamina likewise showed flashes here, and man…what fun she can be if she got it going. I’d say more about Sasha and Becky but I’d be repeating everything ever written about them: they’re spectacular. The most important thing to come out of this match though is the storytelling. WWE the last two months has suddenly came full circle with some great in-match three act stories (AJ/Jericho, Anything Dean Ambrose). It was no different here as we got a great arc with our protagonists the last few weeks and it concluded nicely with a win. Excited to see where this goes in Wrestlemania season.
- The other match was an exercise in contrast and confusion. While it wasn’t necessarily bad (they had some cool spots thought out ahead of time), Brie’s execution wasn’t top notch. I did love that finish though! ShaLinda correctly pointed out the revival of Brie’s single leg crab from her 2014 push (she’s a Diva encyclopedia) and the push into the ropes looked absolutely brutal. I’m kind of a mark for simple things (getting pushed hard into something, suffering a bad fall) being used as the harbinger of a loss. Plus, this was a great example of a Challenger of the Month type feud and we could honestly use more of those. It’s like a stand alone episode of a drama or a one shot comic book. It’s just was a nice excursion from the greater “WWE story” all the characters are adding to. They managed to tell a strong one month story that made Brie incredibly relevant from (match card) obscurity.
- I can’t believe the Wyatt Family lost. No one saw that! Champion prognosticator ShaLinda Mitchell (https://wrestlingisfun.net/about/rev-up-your-engines-fastlane-predictions-2/) didn’t see that! It just really begs the question though: if that wasn’t being used to hype up one of the Wyatt’s against Lesnar…then why did it exist? Well, I actually know that answer. It’s because Ryback is a God and I love him. Do I miss his horribly sprayed on by the sketchy dude on the boardwalk onesies? You betcha. But the tights…the running knees…the energy! This guy has put it together! Look, every wrestler has their place. The big comic book guys aren’t for me, usually. And I acknowledge that and have fun with it. But Ryback…Ryback is for everyone. Ryback is life. This match had no right even being decent. And it ended up being adorable.
- Kevin Owens and Ziggler had a cute little variation on their usual 10 minutes Raw song and dance. I was worried they weren’t going to be able to freshen it up enough (see: Owens/Cena III) but it worked out nicely! I was still a little bored by it, but you can never be bored when Kevin Owens is out there. He really brings the crowd into the match in a visceral way.
- Some people had issue with the E & C/New Day segment, but I found it a nice little intermission. Look, did it accomplish anything? Well, no. Storywise. But it pimped out what looks like the most expensive show the WWE Network has ever green lit (So. Many. Graphics.) and that’s something. Going into it I didn’t expect much so I was amused by it. The New Day can take anything and make it work (except unicorns. I really hate those stupid headbands.) And I did like Edge and Christian correctly calling out the New Day aping their formula. It was cute! It almost set up Heel vs. Heel, yeah. And that was dumb. But nothing is all bad if there’s male on male twerking and rainmaking.
- The World Title match really got me going. The way they book Lesnar! It’s just really cool. He’s the most legitimate threat in Kayfabe since Mark Henry’s powerful run a few years ago. Roman and Dean teamed up to get him out of the match! And it only worked for like five minutes! Lesnar creates this great atmosphere – especially here – of urgency. He’s a ticking clock. Every second after they powerbombed him (both times) they unloaded on each other immediately when they entered the ring, which gave the match a nice pace and underscored Brock’s imminent danger. I was pleasantly surprised on how much offense Dean landed on Roman but after I thought about it, it really started to make more sense. Roman was always going to win. And winning is enough in itself. So why not let the other two get some shine? It was well booked besides the anti-climatic ending, which felt like a 2.1 count at most. I don’t know, I just expected MORE. Like…um…I’m kinda on the spot here…like…look, I’m not being paid for this, ok? Shut up!
- AJ and Jericho did what they do. I’m not gonna belabor the point that Jericho is, at this moment, more mid-life crisis Dad than professional wrestler. He has the physique of a piece of cheese draped over a lumpy couch. These are just facts, people. I couldn’t help feeling like Jericho even five years ago would have made this match twice as good. And not the spots, just the execution. Still, I’m a sucker for story and these two have had it in spades since the beginning. It’s been such a fun little old school feud. I could use more of this in my life. Hey! Dad! I don’t think you can beat me again! No third match! …I’ll let you know what he says.
For Raw tonight and going forward in general, I’m expecting Fastlane to be the catalyst for thinning the Diva’s title hunt herd and (hopefully) leading to a #1 Contender’s Match (Sasha/Becky) and finally, Sasha/Charlotte at the Granddaddy of the All. Styles has to move on, right? No one has ever said “Ok ok…best 2 out of 4”. But to who? Owens? Because he definitely moves on here too. WWE has done some interesting things with this new pre-Wrestlemania stop. We’re seeing more shortform storytelling as set up than the usual longform and I think it works. All these matches added crucial little bits of color to the character’s respective arcs. Let’s see where this goes.
WRESTLING IS FUN 