By: ShaLinda Mitchell

Welcome to the Tuesday Night Impact! Recap.  We’re going to highlight the best moments, thoughts and WTF’s from TNA.

• Ladies and Gentlemen, we have officially entered Lockdown. We start with Beer Money facing Bram and Eric Young in a six sides of steel match.  Beer Money is still my favorite TNA tag team ever.  Sorry MCMG, you’re a close second, it’s just that James Storm and Bobby Roode have some of the best chemistry of any team in TNA history. Ugh, rethinking that last sentence now because James Storm just performed my biggest pet peeve in the history of wrestling – he took a cup from a fan and drank it. That fan could have anything!  Eww.  If I was Bram, I would punch him in the face too. Anyways, Beer Money wins and this was clearly the best choice. Not a bad match at all from Beer Money/Eric Young & Bram (besides Storm’s ugly hurricanrana) but I was expecting a little bit more.

• Madison Rayne is a terrible actress but it looks like she’s been attacked. How does this effect the Knockouts Lethal Lockdown match?

• Gregory Helms! Hello Hurricane! Here comes Trevor Lee, our X Division champion…facing Tigre Uno? Draw 4! I love the aggression from Uno. Trevor Lee is not a bad seller, pretty impressed. How did I know he was a Matt & Jeff Hardy trained guy though? I saw him wrestling and just knew he was one of theirs…looked up his wiki and yep, he’s one of them. UNO don’t take the unnecessary risk, it never works!!  WOW.  Pretty cool ass crossbody from the top! He got amazing height off of that. Decent finish. Trevor Lee retains. I like Trevor Lee’s finisher! That Fisherman Buster with the immediate pin is nice.

• EC3 is going to bless us on the mic. Jesus, thank you. EC3 calls out Rockstar Spud who is wearing the worst suit I’ve ever seen in my life. Honestly, I thought I was having an acid trip when he came out. Do I do acid? No, but maybe I was drugged.  EC3 compares Rockstar Spud to a Gazelle. I appreciate that EC3 realizes how amazing Gazelle’s are. They’re passionate, beautiful creatures. Annndd here comes the “Iconic” Matt Hardy dressed in a smoking jacket? Or band leader jacket? Or as a cheetah posing as a person? I’m not sure what he’s wearing but Matt cannot compete with EC3 on the mic. This wasn’t a bad segment at all though (minus their sartorial choices), love the fire in all three guys.

• Rosemary is scary as hell. Jimmy Havoc just gave her a gift. I…I don’t…I don’t understand this love. Not at all. Oh god! Her creepy boyfriend. Jesus Christ, that’s scary as hell.

• Gail Kim just asked Maria to replace Madison Rayne. Clearly we’re all suckers for punishment, Gail Kim included. Will Maria accept? Probably. Seems like it. I expect shenanigans though.

• KO Lethal Lockdown! Starting off with Jade and KO Champion Gail Kim. Nice exchange of Hurricanranas. Jade’s was better. Marti Bell has entered and I ask, Why? Velvet Sky has entered and again I ask, why? Clock ticking and here comes Rebel who doesn’t look too bad but moves kind of gingerly like she’s still figuring things out. Maria has come out and what’s that? Is that shenanigans?! Maria leaves Gail and Velvet to fight for themselves and then locks them in. What a bitch… I love it. Double flapjack off the top, nice. Good package piledriver on the steel cage too but this match seemed…tamed compared to KO battles and wars in the past. Shame.

• EC3 runs into Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle is wrong. EC3 is not going to be the face of the company…he IS the face of the company! Get it right, Angle. Geez.

• Decay is so scary but not in the good way.

• The idea of Angle retiring makes me happy because Angle should be retired but also is sad because it’s the end of an era. He came into the industry like a wrecking ball. He adapted and grew so well as a sports entertainer. I’ll miss him.

• Oh here comes Lashley, I really hope he’s gotten better. Lashley still looks like Wayne Brady but on less drugs. Why is he dressed like 50 Cent but shares DNA with Wayne Brady? Who made Lashley? Anyway, not a bad promo from Lashley. That Angle intensity was always a favorite. Hmm, kind of want to watch them wrestle now. Good job.

• Eli Drake and Odarg The Great is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Also, I love it. This cage match is pure comedy and I don’t need this. Also, thank god for blurring Eli Drake’s ass. I didn’t need to see that. Aw man, is Odarg The Great winning me over? I’m…I’m falling for this… damn it! WIN damn you! WIN!!! HE WON! NO! His mask came off. I feel like this is going to be a problem.  Well, regardless, life is made. TNA has made a fan of me again.

• The Decay really feels like Jimmy Havoc should be aligned with them. But I’m a sucker for an accent and a heart. Let’s go Havoc!

• Damn you Drake! Damn you Billy! I hate the Smashing Pumpkins anyway! Grado come back. I love you. Marry me!

• Kurt Angle vs Bobby Roode next week? Drew Galloway vs Mike Bennett? I’m in next week. I’m so in.

• Matt Hardy clothing status: Still looks ridiculous.  EC3 on the other hand: looks glorious. STEVE BLACKMAN! He wasn’t there but it’s a reference. You stupid kids and your reality era. Upset Tyrus isn’t carrying baby Hardy. Really? I’ve been trying to not rag on the commentary all night because it’s not about them but Pope just said “As Whitney Houston would say, “It’s not right, but it’s okay” …so done.  Rest of this on mute. I have to get this in as well…shut up Josh. I refuse to deal with this anymore.  This is a good match, though. EC3 is life. He just flipped his crap and I love it. He’s bleeding, he’s angry, let’s do this. Rockstar Spud runs down and helps Matt Hardy retain and then smashes EC3 with a steel chair on the head. What a terrible…..Twist of Fate. (thumbs up, sunglasses on). The foreshadowed the crap out of this turn with the segment earlier but I’m all in.

I am genuinely surprised I liked Impact! I haven’t watched TNA in a while because it always found a way to turn me off but if there was ever away to win someone back, tonight was it. Excited to see what happens next week.